i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
