WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
