I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
