it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
