I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
