My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
