he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
