Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
