someone owes me an orgasm
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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