my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize