this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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