yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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