Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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