never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
