Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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