we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
