My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize