Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
