with your own penis?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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