you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize