I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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