Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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