im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He? As in you personified your dick?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
