Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
