Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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