see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
