in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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