I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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