Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We just shotgunned beers for America
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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