Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
