Umm I'm too high to move.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
