careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
