i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
