he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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