Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I FOUND THE LEGS
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
