turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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