therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
