wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
