filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
