Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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