i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
