just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Still dying that you shit outside
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
