Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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