Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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