you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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