vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
