Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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