i just wanna soil my oats bro
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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