im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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