god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
