Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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