The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
