I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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