Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
