i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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