we have pet lesbian snakes
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think people are normalizing furries
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
