It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
