some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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