i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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